


HiddleSTAN!

by Panic_for_Bucky_Barnes



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: I, I don’t beta cause I have no one to beta my stuff, I should be doing homework, M/M, Memes and me mes, Multi, Other, This is the big mood, and I have other stuff to write, and laugjing, beta position is open, care, dont, im dying, im not sorry for this beauty, inquire within, lots of, lots on references, oof, oof x2, references, solid crack, still solid crack, well it does start with actual fanfic, who you are Clint just shut up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-10-11 10:54:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17445551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Panic_for_Bucky_Barnes/pseuds/Panic_for_Bucky_Barnes
Summary: Rock-solid crack harder than any erection





	HiddleSTAN!

**Author's Note:**

> If you didn’t read some of my additional tags- I do need someone to beta my work. If you’re interested please comment below!

“Yo dude! Check you out!” Sebastian rolled his eyes and reached for his phone. His friend had sent a news article about Sebastian’s latest Instagram post, and surging a few seconds of scanning the majorly glitchy site, Sebastian burst out laughing.

 

“Tom! Get in here,” Sebastian called out. By coincidence, Tom Hiddleston was staying with Sebastian in New York. Tom walked in from the kitchen and sat down next to Sebastian, who handed the phone over to his friend. “HiddleStan is taking off.”

 

Tom smirked while he scanned the article.

 

“But do you really have shirtless pictures of me in your trailer?” Tom asked, suppressing his laugh. “And I must say, you picked the better photos too,” he added. Sebastian ruffles Tom’s hair and kissed his cheek, eyes still on his phone.

 

“EvanStan looks like it has a new challenger,” Sebastian said.

 

“Yeah, what did Chris say?” Tom asked, turning to Seb. He draped his arm over Stan and pulled him a little closer.

 

“Oh god, which one? All three of them had something to say. Pratt thought it was hilarious, Hemsworth told me to treat you well or I’d regret it, and Evans laughed harder than ever,” Seb informed. Tom smiled and leaned back, content with how the Chris’s reacted.

 

Tom gave Sebastian’s phone back, and his own phone buzzed in his back pocket. Tom pulled it out and read the message aloud.

 

“Hey, I found this one doing non-Captain-America-like things and thought Bucky Barnes and Loki could teach him a lesson...” Tom held his phone out for Sebastian to see. A horrible selfie with a drunk Chris Evans and an over-enthusiastic Paul Rudd was attached to the text Tom had read.

 

“How the hell do you have Paul Rudd’s phone number?” Seb asked when Tom pulled his phone away.

 

“I asked,” he replied, typing in a response.

 

“Woah, woah, woah, woah! Are you giving Paul Rudd my address?”

 

“And your phone number, yes. We could have a slumber party.”

 

Sebastian’s phone buzzed with a new message from a long line of digits foreign to him. He sighed and changed the contact info to “Paul Rudd (Yes the actual Paul Rudd from Friends).”

 

“You’re a dork,” Tom commented, stealing a look at Rudd’s contact info.

 

“Yeah but you love it.”

 

“Can’t deny that.”

 

Sebastian narrowed his eyes at Tom. He looked down at his phone, pondering what Tom had said, then looked back at Tom.

 

“What?” Tom asked. Sebastian was on him in a flash, lips on Tom’s. Tom Let Sebastian kiss him for a bit before wrestling out of Sebastian’s grasp. “I kind of expected that,” Tom commented, breathless.

 

A muffled buzz broke the simple silence. Sebastian grabbed his phone and scowled, putting it back down again.

 

“Mackie’s in town too, and he found Rudd,” Sebastian informed. “They’re all coming over.”

 

“What? Really? That’s awesome- this slumber party can really get into swing then,” Tom said, grabbing Sebastian’s phone and reading the text for himself.

 

“We should create a group chat,” Sebastian thought out loud. Tom shrugged.

 

“Sure, why not,” quickly, Tom unlocked Sebastian’s phone and started to create a chat.

 

“How do you know my password?”

 

“You say a lot of weird stuff when you’re drunk.”

 

“When was I- oh. Was I drunk last night?”

 

“Yes, very. In fact, you kissed me a few times too.”

 

“Huh, thought you tasted familiar.”

 

Tom smirked, Sebastian punched him in the arm in a friendly manner.

 

Sebastian has created a new chat.

 

Sebastian has named the chat “This is Tom, I stole Seb’s phone”

 

Sebastian has named the chat “Oops, sorry. Thought I was texting.”

 

Sebastian has named the chat “Welcome to Hell, Can I get you a Drink?”

 

ChrisE: Jesus Christ Seb, stop changing the group name!

 

Sebastian: That was Tom, he had my phone

 

Tom: Ehehehehheheh Loki’d

 

Sebastian has re-named Tom as “That one green trickster”

 

That one green trickster: awwww, c’mon. You didn't even capitalize my name

 

Sebastian: you don’t deserve capital letters

 

That one green trickster has re-named Sebastian as “Fucker Barnes”

 

Fucker Barnes: At least my name’s capitalized

 

That one green trickster has re-named Fucker Barnes as “Fucker barnes”

 

Fucker barnes: Dick.

 

ChrisE: Languagw!

 

ChrisE: Oop- meant Lamguage!

 

ChrisE: wait nO

 

Paul Rudd (Yes the Paul Rudd from Friends): Chris you’re drunk

 

Paul Rudd (Yes the Paul Rudd from Friends): why is my contact called “Yes the Paul Rudd from Friends”?

 

The one green trickster: cause Seb’s a nerd

 

Fucker barnes: can’t deny that

 

ChrisE has re-named Paul Rudd (Yes the Paul Rudd from Friends) as “The Rudder”

 

The Rudder: wow Chris

 

ChrisE: aren’t you driving? How are u driving an textin???? That’s illegal

 

The Rudder: we’re in an Uber...

 

ChrisE: so that’s not you in the front seat?????? O.o

 

The Rudder: I’M SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO YOU!!!!

 

Fucker barnes: DON’T TEXT SOMEONE IF THEY’RE RIGHT NEXT TO YOU!!!!

 

That one green trickster: YEAH SEBASTIAN- DON’T TEXT SOMEONE IF THEY’RE RIGHT NEXT TO YOU!!!!

 

Mackie: Wow, I have my phone on silent and miss everything

 

Mackie: Typical.

 

Mackie has re-named ChrisE to “I like bad decisions with my breakfast”

 

I like bad decisions with my breakfast: nO

 

Mackie has re-named I like bad decisions with my breakfast to “Murica yeah!”

 

Murica yeah!: okay, that one’s acceptable

 

Fucker barnes had re-named Mackie as “Sane? Nahh”

 

Same? Nahh: wow Sebastian

 

Fucker barnes: aren’t you supposed to be driving from the airport?

 

Sane? Nahh: I’m in the same Uber as Rudd and Evans!

 

That one green trickster has added “Chris Hemsworth”

 

That one green trickster has added “Jeremy Renner”

 

That one green trickster has added “Scarlet Johansson”

 

That one green trickster has added “Chris Pratt”

 

That one green trickster: oh yes, a whole new crop of people to Loki ):)

 

Chris Pratt: What the fuck

 

Scarlett Johansson: I’m eating dinner with my family let me live

 

Murica yeah!: nO!

 

Jeremy Renner: this is beautiful

 

Jeremy Renner has re-named Scarlett Johansson as “Test me”

 

Jeremy Renner has added “RDJ boiiii”

 

Fucker barnes: wait don’t add RDJ!

 

RDJ boiiii: Why not?

 

Fucker barnes: you’re very intimidating

 

RDJ boiiii: says the man who sent me a video of himself doing reps in front of an Iron Man head

 

Murica yeah: what

 

That one green trickster: I’m sorry, he’s not completely sane right now, still getting over sucking my dick

 

RDJ boiiii: ...

 

Murica yeah!: ...

 

Test me: ...

 

Jeremy Renner: ...

 

Sane? Nahh: ...

 

The Rudder: ...

 

Chris Pratt: ...

 

Chris Hemsworth: What did I miss?

 

Fucker barnes: Tom goddamnit!

 

Chris Hemsworth: Brother, why are you like this?

 

That one green trickster: well, at least he had a good time doing it

 

Test me: I’m scarred for life

 

Murica yeah!: but Buckyyyyyy I thought Stucky was the real OTP- not Lucky!

 

Fucker barnes: oh my god

 

Test me: you’re all children

 

Test me has re-named Jeremy Renner as “Coffee first”

 

Coffee first: and you’re scolding US for being children

 

Test me: your name had coffee in it, therefore it’s not childish

 

The Rudder: can’t argue with that logic

 

Chris Pratt: says the child himself

 

Murica yeah!: I’m pretty sure we’re all children

 

RDJ boiiii: me especially

 

That one green trickster: I concur

 

Murica yeah!: I concur your concur

 

Coffee first: Chris Evans is the true kid out of all of us

 

Chris Hemsworth: Well, he is my child

 

Fucker barnes: when are you guys getting here???? It’s been like, 45 minutes

 

Murica yeah!: you’re a New Yorker, you figure it out

 

The Rudder: traffic

 

RDJ boiiii has re-named Chris Hemsworth as “Point Break”

 

Point Break: your unoriginality is amusing, Man of Iron

 

Point Break has re-named RDJ boiiii as “The original”

 

The Original: wow, how ORIGINAL

 

Sane? Nahh: Seb we’re here

 

Fucker barnes: finally, thought you guys got in an accident or something

 

Murica yeah!: we saw one

 

The Rudder: he’s kidding, we saw two bicycles crash into each other

 

Test me: that’s still an accident tho

 

Sane? Nahh: I took a video

 

Fucker barnes: why

 

Test me: don’t question it, that’s just how Mackie is

 

Point Break: I thought you knew that???

 

The Original: he’s too out of it from sucking Tom’s dick

 

That one green trickster: you’re a dick

 

The Original: Thanks

 

Murica yeah!: Hey Seb do you have any weed in this apartment?

 

Fucker barnes: shut up, Evans

 

Murica yeah!: I’m assuming that’s a no

 

Test me: are you okay Chris?

 

Point break: I’m good

 

Chris Pratt: I’m good

 

Murica yeah!: no

 

The Original: oof

 

Sane? Nahh: how do you know what oof means???

 

Coffee first: oof?

 

The Original: I have kids...

 

The Rudder: and Tom Holland

 

Sane? Nahh: nO

 

Fucker barnes: nO

 

The Original: I’m adding him

 

That one green trickster: Sebastian and Anthony literally just screamed “no” out loud at the same time

 

Murica yeah!: I can confirm

 

The Rudder: Yeah, they did- it was so funny

 

The Original has added Tom Holland

 

The Original has re-named Tom Holland as “Underroos”

 

Underroos: What the shit is this?

 

Test me: Welcome to Hell, want a drink?

 

Underroos: ... no thanks

 

Underroos: who’s Sane? Nahh and... Fucker Barnes?

 

Fucker barnes: Even Tom Holland can capitalize names... THOMAS

 

That one green trickster: yeah... SEBASTIAN

 

Underroos: Fucker Barnes= Sebastian Stan, That One Green Trickster= Tom Hiddleston. Got it

 

Coffee first: I’m Jeremy Renner

 

Test me: I’m Scarlett Johansson

 

The Rudder: Paul Rudd

 

The Original: you know who I am

 

Point Break: Chris Hemsworth

 

Chris Pratt: <— that’s me

 

Murica yeah!: I’m the last Chris missing

 

Sane? Nahh: I’m done with this shit

 

Underroos: That must be Mackie

 

Sane? Nahh: no shit Sherlock

 

The Rudder: ooh we should add Benedict

 

The Original: Mark can do it he has his number

 

Point break has added Mark Ruffalo

 

Mark Ruffalo: Umm... hi?

 

Coffee first: can you add Benedict to the chat?

 

Mark Ruffalo: can I have a cool name first?

 

Coffee first has re-named Mark Ruffalo as “Hangry”

 

Chris Pratt: How come I’m the only one without a cool nickname?

 

Coffee first: you didn’t ask

 

Chris Pratt: can I have a cool nickname?

 

Coffee first has re-named Chris Pratt as “Dance off”

 

Dance off: thank you

 

Hangry has added Benadryl Cucumberstanchthatweave

 

Benadryl Cucumbersnatchthatweave: Why is my name... like that?

 

Fucker barnes: it’s a me-me

 

Fucker barnes: Letitia explained it to me

 

Hangry: Sorry, Odette must have changed it, I can change it back if you’d like

 

Benadryl Cucumbersnatchthatweave: please don’t

 

Fucker barnes has added Letitia Wright

 

Fucker barnes has added Chadwick Boseman

 

Letitia Wright: good job using your meme knowledge, Sebastian *tossed biscuit*

 

Murica yeah: what?

 

Fucker barnes: *catches biscuit and milly rocks cause why the fuck not*

 

Letitia Wright: ... you still have much to learn

 

Chadwick Boseman: this is too weird

 

Letitia Wright: The chair, WACK. This gear, WACK. His jewelry, WACK. His foot stance, WACK

 

Underroos: wait you know vines?!

 

Letitia Wright: who doesn’t?!!!??!!1!1!1!1!1

 

The Original: literally like everybody here doesn’t know what any of that shit is

 

Underroos: oof

 

Letitia Wright: oof

 

Sane? Nahh: So YoU dId LeArN oOf FrOm HoLlAnD

 

The Original: maybe

 

Point break: we’re so old

 

Test me: dinosaurs actually

 

Coffee first: *velociraptor noises*

 

That one green trickster: *velociraptor impression*

 

Dance off: *Tames the velociraptors*

 

Underroos: that’s going on my Tumblr

 

The Original: you have a Tumblr?????

 

Underroos: Yeah, look up My_Dreams_Are_Shit_Posts*

 

Underroos: I just got like five new followers- how many of you guys have a secret Tumblr?

 

Benadryl Cucumbersnatchthatweave: I don’t...

 

Test me: I don’t...

 

Fucker barnes: I don’t at all...

 

The Rudder: It’s how I leaned close up magic

 

Coffee first: Tumblr?? What’s that??...

 

Dance off: What’s Tum-blur....

 

That one green trickster: maybe the headcannons make me laugh...

 

Hangry: I have two accounts actually

 

Sane? Nahh: that’s nine people

 

Underroos: which is pretty close to five

 

Sane? Nahh: it’s not actually

 

That one green trickster: can we just enjoy our sleepover in peace???????

 

Dance off: so you want us to go?

 

The Rudder: yeah pretty much, we’re watching The Little Mermaid

 

Chadwick Boseman: And I’m assuming Sebastian and Chris are singing all of the songs?

 

The Rudder: belting is more accurate

 

Hangry: well lets let them do that I guess

 

The Original: you bailing on us too, Bruice?

 

Hangry: ...

 

Hangry: yes

 

Test me: I’m pretty sure The Little Mermaid is a valid reason to stop texting

 

Letitia Wright: mood

 

Point Break: what?

 

Letitia Wright: ...never mind

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> *My_Dreams_Are_Shit_Posts is my Tumblr- check it out for solid shit posts and more crack ;;;)))))


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